Construction Begins...

On January 1, 2010 I made a resolution which I of course broke. And yet I’m not disappointed, because where I failed to reach my destination I did in fact enter uncharted territory. On December 25th, 2009 after watching a movie with my family (Avatar, which was great! Unless you are Mark Driscoll in which case it is pagan idol worship, lol) and I stumbled upon the realization that I needed to intentionally make changes in my life. And so I set some goals. I’m not going to go into them but essentially I was going to make myself a completely different person than I was last year. And so I set off for my new adventure, eager to arrive at my destination.

November 8th, 2010. I sit here at my desk, with many things pretty much the same, and yet I am completely different. This year was an interesting year. It was a year of growth, realization, and changes. Please don’t get the wrong idea its not that I didn’t do anything, its simply that I began to shake off the rust that I had amassed on me over the past 4 identical years.

Its harder than I thought to lose weight. Maybe its because I’m older than I thought I was and my metabolism doesn’t work as well as I thought it would. I couldn’t get a different job because I applied at jobs, did interviews and didn’t get jobs. As it turns out I need to get a college degree in order to get better paying jobs. And so it went for many of my goals. I tried and got shot down, tried and didn’t get the results that I desired. But for most of them it just required a few changes, a few things here and there that would ultimately change the course of my life forever. And those changes I was able to make or at least start. So as it turns out this year was preparation for what is to come next year and years later so I am excited to sow what I have reaped this year.

I end this entry with this illustration: earlier this summer my dad bought a bunch of wood and we were going to start building a 10x12 deck in the back yard. We started planning and making inventory of what we would need. As he looked at the list, he realized that there were a few things io needed: cement, a few extra posts, etc. I asked why we needed that and he walked over with his hammer, ripped a board off of the original deck and showed me the foundation, the only reason our old deck was still standing. This year I didn’t build my new life but I definitely set a foundation, so in 2011 the construction begins!

New Friends...

New friends…
This is taken from Donald Millers tips on growing up for those in their twenties.

“1. Lose your friends: If your friends aren’t ambitious, if they don’t have clear plans, you probably won’t either. This doesn’t mean to reject them, but it does mean if your friends want to lay around doing nothing all day, get some new friends. The single greatest influence playing on you is your friends. You will become like the people you hang around.”

So let me first clarify that this is not so much a “mad at my friends so I am talking crap” blog entry, this is actually about me. At some point I wanted to write an entry about “quarter life Crisis” and how my current situation had finally been diagnosed but apparently I was too lazy to do that. Well either way, I think my life is a living testament to that concept!
So for a while now I’ve been plagued with ideas about this concept or “condition” and my honest belief is that God is giving me a nudge in the direction that I am supposed to be heading. I am in the process of doing a few things that will change the direction of my life forever.
I have read a few articles about the masculinity crisis in the US. It seems that in the past the trajectory for a Male’s life has been going from boy to man. Apparently at some point being a “teenager” was accepted as another step in this path and now there is a new step called “extended adolecense.”
I think Mark Driscoll explained it best when he said:

“It’s just extended adolescence, where 20s, 30s, sometimes even in his 40s, he doesn’t really want to get married, doesn’t really want to have kids, doesn’t really want to pursue a career. He has a lot of hobbies, got a lot of buddies, watches a lot of porn, gambles, has a lot of fun, maybe plays in some band or is in a guild of World of Warcraft, or something ridiculous like that. And they’ve even got little [mottos] like, “It’s all good” and, “Bros before hos.” It’s just this whole adolescent, juvenile culture.”

And ladies and gentleman, I have allowed this description to lord over my life for way too long. So I am making changes. But what about the people that I hang out with?
Here is the truth: most of my friends are irresponsible, have REAL dead end jobs, are not going to school, are in no position to get married, even less to have kids, have a lot of hobbies, have no word as men, and play ridiculous amounts of time playing video games. These are the people that are hanging around me. And the truth of the matter is that:” birds of a feather flock together.” But “It’s difficult to soar with eagles when you are scratching with the turkeys”. My mom always used to tell me, “dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres” = “tell me who you hang out with and I will tell you who you are.”
And apparently this is true. I am my friends. And yet I want to be so much more than that! I am in the process of becoming the Man that God wants me to be and right now I feel that these guys are holding me back. I love them and I always will but they are dragging me down and right now I need to soar with eagles. so here's to growing up!

Another update from Da hood!

After neglecting this blog for so long, I’m finally deciding to write you guys a little bit about what is going on in my life. I am getting more involved in church, or at least attempting to do so. I applied for the worship team and had my audition last week. I think it went okay. I’ll let you guys know what happens there.
I also signed up to be on my Churches City Impact Team. I went to my first event on Saturday. It was a community BBQ with games and a hay ride for the community. At first it was slow but by the time I left it was pretty huge. I had fun helping out and getting to know people from the block we adopted. One thing that I did realize was that the people from my church are a bit… spoiled and rich! Lol They were afraid to walk around in a neighborhood that looked better than where I live now, using LA rules to “Be safe.” It was pretty funny, but I understand, if you ain’t from the hood, you afraid of it.
I’m currently filling out paperwork and what not for Epic Bible College. To be honest I’m not sure if I’m gonna be able to do it this semester (FA issues) but even if I don’t make it, I will be in next semester for sure!
I’m starting to crave change. I want things to be different than they have been. I guess half of the battle is just initiating the change. Once you get the ball rolling, you don’t want it to stop. My process has begun people! I encourage you to start and/or continue yours!
That’s pretty much it for now. I’ll let you guys know what happens in the near future. Take care folks, thanks for caring :)

New Chapter

It’s been WAAAY too long since I wrote in this blog, Mostly because I had nothing to say. I felt so defeated by time. I was letting it all slip away and here I was changing nothing. My story was being written and the pages were too boring to read. I was succumbing to the fact that I would not be changing anything in my life this year… and then it happened!
My supervisor was fired, they hired on a new sup instead of promoting one of us, and I was stuck doing outstanding work for a company that treats employees like crap. It was a Friday and I was angry; angry at my boss, angry at my new supervisor and just angry in general. I felt like quitting my job. And then I remembered, this job isn’t my career. I am not called to be here forever. I am called to be a pastor!
So that lead to the first in a series of changes that I will be attempting to make in my life.
1) I will be applying to go to EPIC Bible College
2) I applied to be a member at my church
3) I applied to the worship team at my church
4) I joined the city impact ministry at my church!
These are huge changes that might just change the way my story had been going for a very long time! I’m not gonna lie, I’m nervous, I’ excited, I’m worried, but I’m trusting in God. I’m on my way to a new chapter in life!

Wish me luck!

II#1: Update

FAILURE! Oh well, God's will!

Inciting Incident #1

Word of God says to me:
“This is a new Chapter in my life.”

Now, Your basic story Arch:
“A Character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.”

The character – me!
SO… first off I must have the “what if’s” to find what I want…

Wants something:
- a new job,
- to write a book,
- to be a pastor.

And overcomes conflict to get it…
The reality of the situation is that sucess doesn't come without a struggle; nothing will just be handed to me. I believe the conflict will come in many different forms. First off my own doubts and insecurities. Second, rejections. Third anything else that will be getting in my way in the near future.

So after I have my “wants,” and my possible deterrents, I realize that all I need to get started is to take that first step. I needed to enter my “point of no return,” my “inciting incident.” Theoretically after taking that step, it kind of forces me to follow through with my goal. Remember, “dreams don’t become reality until they first become goals!” – (quote by me, lol)

So in the near future I will be creating some inciting incidents to get the ball rolling on changing my life. I have already started acting on each goal in different ways. But the goal for which I have actually attained an inciting incident is the “new job.”

Inciting Incident:
Last Friday I applied for a job with a statewide agency that helps victims of domestic violence. I almost didn’t apply but immediately thought that if I got the inciting incident in place, that I would have to at least try to get this job, so I would at least be moving toward my goals instead of just standing still…
And so with that, inciting incident #1 is born. My interview appointment is next Monday April 26th at 1pm. I’m ready for my new chapter. Wish me luck! Prayers are appreciated!

Update

This is part of my other blog but I figured i would post it as an update here as well...

Where I am.
I wanted to post a bit about me personally to show where I am in life. I guess I have to look at various areas here including health, job, dreams, goals, Friendship, God.
Healthwise I am doing okay. I can honestly say that I am healthier now than I was a year ago. BUT I still get discouraged when I don’t see results. I have started the path but I’ve got a looong way to go!
My job is okay. The problem is that I need to be making a HELL of a lot more money and I’m not gonna be able to do it here. I need to move on so wish me luck becaue I will be turning in some resume’s soon.
Dreams – as seen in my last post I have decided to begin my first book. I will be thinking about an attention getting title, and my chapters are already laid out. I will begin writing soon.
As for my goal of becoming a pastor… Soon enough. I need to do more toward this because I know I have been slacking. I am however growing in knowledge of the word so that’s a partial step.
Friendship – I have moved forward in this department! I have forgotten the bad friends and I have gotten in touch with the good friends of my past. I have also met “D” my small group leader who I figure can be more of a mentor than a friend, but still a friend. He seems like a good and genuine guy.
God – I am learning, growing, reading, and trying! I know I have alooong way to Go but I am trying to take more steps towards God instead of away from him! He is leading me and I’m ready to go to the next chapter.